So after a dry spell of around five years I have started dating again. It all happened quite unexpectedly. One Sunday around a month ago, I was on the phone telling my friend Peter that I had had enough of being single and was ready to share my life with someone and literally the next day I met someone. BAM!
Here I am a month down the line and I’m dating a great guy and everything’s going well. Around the same time Yanir got in touch with me and asked if I would read his book ‘Imperfect Thing Called Love’ and write a review for HSB&M. At first glance you might think that these two events are not at all related, in fact, they couldn’t have happened at a better time. Or worse depending on your view.
I didn’t know much about the book, other than it was set in Tel-Aviv and describes a young gay guy’s journey into self acceptance after a break-up. What I didn’t know was that it is a semi autobiographical story about Yanir’s first big love, Eric and their eventual break up (in 2003). The book is made up from a series of blogs that Yanir had written for a column that chronicled that first year (after the break up) called ‘Lessons In Love’
Let me start by saying that I loved it, though like I said I had just started dating and here I was reading a book about a very painful break-up. To say it played with my head is a bit of an understatement.
I started to feel guilty, enjoying my dates with my new man while Yanir was going through such a painful time.
The book is written in the first person, something that I’m not a great fan of but in this book it works. It’s like Yanir is talking to you, confiding in you.
The book is honest and very revealing. If you’ve ever truly loved and lost you’ll sympathise with what Yanir goes through. At times I wanted to scream at him and say “It gets better!” but of course he wouldn’t have heard me!
The book deals with four relationships, his ex-love, Eric, his mother, his therapist and of course himself. All of them complex, all of them different. I liked his therapist, not so much his mother and Eric at times seemed a bit unemotional and detached but you’ll have to read the book to find out more. There are other characters but they come and go with the chapters, each character teaches Yanir a new life lesson, which reminded me of that old saying ‘Everyone comes into your life for a reason‘, it’s up to you to find the reason and Yanir does just that.
There are a few moments in the book when I wanted to phone Yanir and say “Ok what were you thinking when you did so and so on page…?” The book at times feels like it could have been called ‘How Not To Behave When You’re In A Relationship’, for this reason I found it very helpful, at times with my new guy I found myself behaving just like Yanir in the book and I managed to stop by myself from making the same mistakes.
The book is full of hidden gems and divided into small chapters. Each chapter has a message, each chapter reveals a bit more about Yanir. It does feel like a Self-Help book, which is a good thing, I’m sure I will read it again and the next time I’ll find something different, another hidden message and I’m looking forward to that.
The book tells you if you want to get to know someone quickly just spill a glass of hot milk over them and see how they react. If you want to get to know Yanir quickly, read this book, I feel like I know him, worts and all. I like him.
When I finished reading the book I was immediately reminded of the Kylie Minogue song ‘Confide In Me‘
We all get hurt by love. And we all have our cross to bear. But in the name of understanding now, our problems should be shared
Thanks for sharing Yanir.
‘Imperfect Thing Called Love’ is available to buy online on Amazon.